


Definition of Love

by orphan_account



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-25
Updated: 2014-01-29
Packaged: 2018-01-09 23:00:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 11,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1151833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If love had a definition, it would be you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Every single time, it was the same. Every year, every subject, every genre... Every time. Kise had given up on trying so hard on his studies by the beginning of middle school, and every sport he started, he quit before the month was over. The only thing he hadn't quit was modeling, but it was only due to the most superficial reason he could think of as an explanation. It was for the attention, he couldn't get enough of it. As long as he had this career, no one left him behind. Sure, they stayed for something that wasn't Kise himself, but he can pretend he didn't notice. At least... At that moment, at least, they were there, laughing with him, being with him. At that moment, at least... He wasn't second place.

 

"Kise kun, you're staring again."

"What? No, I..." Kise sighed, burying his face into his towel to cool his cheeks and hide from those eyes that knew too much.

"Was it that obvious?" He mumbled.

"Not obvious enough, apparently," Kuroko replied, closing his book. Kise supposed that he probably wasn't really reading it anyways. As much as Kuroko had noticed his secrets, Kise had in return found out about Kuroko's own, despite that pokerface that rarely changed.

Kise never thought he'd actually like Kuroko so much, but he did. Kuroko was the most precious friend he had ever made, probably the only real friend he ever made. The first time they had met, Kuroko told him nothing but his faults. To him, he wasn't Kise Ryouta the model, or Kise Ryouta the second choice after Haizaki Shougo. He wasn't treated as anything more than what he was, a new member joining to train together. It had been fun, those middle school days. Even when Midorima positively tried his best to ignore Kise's presence in the room, he felt happy. To them, he had been nothing more, and nothing less. He hadn't been a natural talent to Akashi, but a member with potential. Potential... What a great feeling it was, to be told he had potential. That he had a chance to change, that he wasn't a naturally perfect man, or that he was so imperfect beyond repair compared to someone else... Compared to someone like Aomine Daiki.

"Fuck!" Kagami roared in another futile effort to slap away the ball from Aomine's hands as he flew in for another dunk. They were both sweating so much, anyone would have believed it if someone had claimed that a small raincloud had poured just above the two of them. Kagami fell back down onto his back, his knees buckling under him, and Aomine fell to the ground as well, punching the skies in victory.

"Not again," Kuroko sighed as he pulled out a clean towel and some ice packs from his bag, walking into the court. Sometimes, Kise wished he could have been half as bold as Kuroko was, taking care of the one he loves without a care for who watches... But then again, Kuroko wasn't one to really stand out, so maybe it didn't matter.

Kagami jumped as Kuroko held up the ice pack to Kagami's forehead to announce his presence. No matter how many times he's watched, it was always funny to be able to watch Kuroko be ever so present, while everyone around him didn't see him at all. It was like a magic trick, maybe.

"Kuroko! Damn it, I almost died!"

"If your ankle is sprained again, I'll help you shut your eyes forever, Kagami kun."

Kuroko tossed the towel to Kagami's face with a scowl, and turned to hold the ice pack onto his ankle, that Kise supposed was swelling by now.

"Tetsu, where's my towel?" Aomine pulled at Kagami's towel, which only earned him a smack from the redhead.

"Get it from Kise, you prick."

Kise wanted to, so very wanted to walk onto the court, sit on the ground beside Kuroko, and look down at Aomine's face and wipe away his sweat. Every single time they met like this, Kise always kept a towel in his bag for him, and yet...

"Why would I, when I have Tetsu?"

That earned him an ignite pass onto his stomach, and Kise simply laughed... But only because he couldn't cry.

 

"Aominecchi, you definitely have to play one-on-one with me someday!" Kise mentioned on their way home. After high school, they rarely met, and when they did, it was only because Kuroko had invited him.

"Ah... I don't know, playing with Kagami take so much out of me, and our regular training schedules are so much harsher than what we used to do in high school. Maybe when I can have a little break from training?"

There were so many things Kise regretted. If only he had continued to study, if only he had not obsessed over the attention he got from show business. If only he had chosen basketball instead. If only he had been less of a coward. But he couldn't help it. As long as he was a star, he thought no one would leave him, that he wouldn't need to be lonely... But even in this world, he was second place to Daisuke Ueda. In basketball, Kise thought he'd be the only rival Aomine could ever need. After all, he was good at imitation. But even in this, he was only second to Kagami. Second in line, second choice, second place.

"Then... Next time, okay? Kurokocchi, I have to go this way so I'll leave first!"

Kise waved and rushed away before he could hear anything more. It made him want to vomit.

 

He'd always had silly fantasies about cliché movie scenes. When he was younger, he'd imagined that his lover would end up being a tall skinny model with nice boobs and smooth skin who'd look good in his arms. He'd imagined that they'd go on little dates to botanical gardens, sitting on a secluded bench in a remote corner to enjoy a little bit of open air together without prying eyes. He'd imagined that they'd order different foods in a family restaurant in the middle of the night, and share half of it together. They'd pick out clothes for each other, and they'd buy matching shirts or accessories just for the sake of being a typical pair of lovers. They'd end up living together, maybe... and then, someday much later, they'd make love. He'd approach it slowly, despite being in the entertainment world full of one night stands and sparks of lust, because he would love her that much. He'd make sure she knows she is treasured. And then, he might get married. He may be second place to everyone else, but to her and her alone, he'd be the one and only.

But Kise never met anyone like that, and he supposed that he probably never will. He envied Kuroko.

 

"Hello, Kise kun?"

"Kurokocchi?"

"Kise kun, your tone is annoying."

"No Kurokocchi! Don't hang up! Why did you call me?"

His stylist snickered, and Kise just smiled. She heard him talk to Kuroko so many times that she probably thinks it's his lover or something... Not that she's asked about it.

"Aomine kun and Kagami kun are having their first university game in a few weeks. Will you be coming?"

Kise was so jealous of Kuroko's privilege to use that question. 'Will you be coming?' As in, will you be coming to our school, where the three of us eat meals together, take classes together, and study together?

"Ah... No, I can't, Kurokocchi. I'm... Busy. Yeah, I'm busy."

"...Is that so? Will you be coming to watch them practice this weekend as well?"

"No... I've been offered a huge role in a movie, you see? I have a lot of meetings to attend..."

Kise forced on a smile on his face as though it would portray itself through his voice over the phone and convince Kuroko that he wasn't trying to avoid them.

"It can't be helped then. Please join us for a meal sometime, Kise kun."

"Yeah, sure..."

"I thought you weren't going to take that role," his stylist asked when he had hung up. Kise only smiled.

"Well, I thought I might be able to do it after all, the role of a dying man."

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

"I'm sorry, Kurokocchi, I'm on a diet!"

Kise watched the scowl rise up on his face, and clapped his hands apologetically.

"But you promised, Kise kun."

"I know, I know, but I just can't for a while... It's for the movie, so I just can't."

"Not even one meal?"

This time Kise heard it clearly, the disappointment. Whatever Kuroko had been planning or desiring, it wasn't going to happen now because of him.

"I'm really sorry..." Was all he can say.

It was a good thing Kise had requested a private room in the cafe, or else the customers would have witnessed Kise bowing to a complete civilian (or perhaps nothing at all, if they didn't notice Kuroko).

"It... Can't be helped, I guess." Kuroko sipped his white hot chocolate, resigning to keep silent instead.

Kise wanted to go and have that dinner. Every moment spent with Kuroko was just a bundle of warmth for him, but it was always a package with Aomine. He didn't think he could face Aomine... Not while he was feeling like this.

"Is... Is the movie you're doing something interesting?" Kuroko finally asked, and Kise, glad to change the subject, sat up and smiled.

"You'll definitely enjoy it, Kurokocchi! I have the role of a dying teenager, but I fall in love during my last months, and we do all sorts of things together to create lasting memories.."

"It certainly sounds tragic."

"Right? But we have a lot of scenes about things that lovers would do, and I thought I'd really enjoy trying that out, since, well..."

_Since I can't do them with Aominecchi,_ was what Kise had meant to say, and he supposed that Kuroko knew it.

"Yes, it does seem like good practice, I suppose. I'm sure Kagami kun will cry to it."

"Hehe, and you'll make him watch it?"

"Of course, we need to support your movie as much as possible." The glint in Kuroko's look made Kise think that there were other intentions, but it was probably another one of those moments that lovers can have. How envious.

"Well, I suppose I understand why you need to go on a diet now, Kise kun, but make sure you don't ruin your health too much."

"Don't worry! My agent has it all covered!"

If Kuroko knew that Kise was lying, he didn't say anything more about it.

 

The next few months were stressful, but Kise was glad to use the movie as an excuse to avoid everyone outside of the movie staff. His agent had even stalled all photoshoot jobs just so no one unnecessary would have to see Kise turning into nothing but skin and bones.

"I have to say, Kise kun, I didn't expect you to take your role so passionately," the director had complimented him, and he just replied with a smile. Passionate? Can this be called passionate, he wondered. Trying so hard just to feel like he was needed somewhere, starving himself only because he can't eat away his feelings instead... Kise could only see it as desperation.

But this 'desperation' paid off, he supposed. Both on and off the screen, he looked like a dying patient, he acted like a dying patient, and as far as he can know, he WAS the dying patient. He stumbled over his shoes that felt two sizes too big, his clothes sagged, his skin was pale and dry. But people were always around him. They supported him, helped him up, worried for him. When he was on the set, he can forget that he ever liked Aomine. He can forget that he wasn't really wanted. The female lead also had no intentions of flirting with a sickly skin-and-bones man, so scenes were done within several shots at different angles. When it took longer, he had to rest before he resumed.

Love scenes? Ha, he couldn't even remember them. All those movie scenes he dreamed of reenacting, he was too tired to remember much. Leaning on the girl's shoulder, playing with her hair, holding hands, flower crowns... Had they always felt this tiring?

 

It was nearly seven months later when Kise got to see anyone outside of staff again, when the shoot was over and the film was set to release that winter. He finally got home, to his real home, where his agent had been taking care of things like mails and payments in his stead while he worked on is figure in a cabin near the film set all that time. A running away, of sorts, he supposed. It wasn't like Aomine and he had parted on awkward terms, and it wasn't like no one knew what he was doing. Kuroko would have told them.

He just never expected to have anyone ring his doorbell as soon as he got home.

Kise had just wanted to sleep, even though his agent had left a meal full of meats and other things to help him regain his former weight. He could heat it up later, he had thought, feeling too tired to even walk. That last scene had taken a huge toll on his energy, a long full shot of himself giving the female lead a piggyback ride as they walked down this sunlit path in the meadows in God-knows-where-he-is. It wasn't the girl's fault, since he had heard that she even purposely went on a diet for his sake. But he had lost all his fat, and all his muscle, and he stumbled a little too much over his shoes that were two sizes too big on him now. He had to take them off for the scene instead, which worked out much better.

He was just on the verge of falling asleep on the sofa when the doorbell rang, and he opened the door, assuming his manager left something behind.

"Yo, Kis- Kise?"

Even if he had wanted to, Kise had no more energy to hold the door shut on Aomine, who charged in. Kise stumbled backwards a little, feeling more anemic by the minute. Was the sight of Aomine's smiling face making his blood rush in excitement again? It was extremely tiring.

"Woah! Kise, are you okay? What... What the hell is wrong with you?"

He practically dragged Kise to the sofa and made him lie down.

"I'm sorry Aomine kun, but please leave for today," he somewhat mumbled, closing his eyes. He couldn't even tell if he was saying the words or just thinking them, but every nerve in his body was ready to shut down, and he couldn't think with his whole body aching.


	3. Chapter 3

"Fucking Kise," He heard Kagami's voice mutter somewhere in the distance, and it took him a little while longer to identify it, but he thought he smelled miso soup.

"Kise kun, are you awake now?"

A cool hand touched his forehead, and he opened his eyes a crack to see Kuroko peering at him. In the back somewhere, there was a lot of commotion, and he could sort of hear his agent's stammering voice.

"Kou-cchi?" Kise's voice came out a bit groggy, and much quieter than he had intended, but his agent heard it and came running over to his line of sight.

"Kise kun! You didn't eat the food I left for you, and... Er, your f-friends were saying that you... Uh, fainted? We should have gone to a hospital first like I said, but-"

"Oi!" Aomine's voice loomed above him somewhere, and he can already see that Aomine was probably staring down this timid guy to his last nerve.

"Kou-cchi," he called again, "The nutritionist, what time is she coming?"

Kise was happy to see Kuroko, but with his condition like this, he didn't want anyone else to see it. He hid his face half behind the blanket covering him and rubbed his eyes awake.

"Ah that... err..."

"I sent her away," Kagami answered instead, and Kouhei sat up on his ankles like a little boy awaiting punishment.

"Kise kun, is something wrong?"

Everything was wrong in his world, but how could he possibly explain? How could these people possibly understand?

"No... It's fine, then." Kise sat up, keeping the blanket draped over his shoulders, and reached for his phone on the coffee table.

"Um... then Kou-cchi, have a bit of rest yourself, and come back next month on this date to resume the gym sessions," Kise concluded, checking up on his schedules on his calendar."

"A-are you sure? You can move the Zunan photoshoot for another month, they won't mind-"

"No, I'll be fine, okay?"

"Kise, are you fucking serious?" Aomine yelled angrily, and Kise winced. All this commotion was making his head hurt, and it didn't help that he had no energy already.

"Kou-cchi, you've lost weight too, so go have a long vacation with your wife, okay? And let the company know about our plans for me."

Kouhei glanced up at whoever was looming over the sofa behind Kise, and nodded before rushing away with some hasty farewells.

"That fucker better repent or-"

"Aomine kun, I was the one to accept this role," Kise interrupted, rubbing his temples. He got up and headed towards the bathroom, dragging the blanket with him. His thin body would be a sore sight that he would rather not show them. At best, he was ugly, and if him at his best didn't get Aomine to like him, how can this ugly sight of a walking skeleton help at all? He knew they were concerned as friends, but this was enough, wasn't it? One meal should be fine. As long as Kise starts eating again, he'll return to being how he used to be again, and he'll go and greet them once he reaches that level. But not like this, not in this state of physical ruin.

"Anyways, it's been good to see all of you again, but I would prefer if you left-"

"Fuck, Kise!"

Aomine whirled him around so quickly that Kise fell backwards, head hitting the wall as the rest of him crumpled to the floor. The floor spun around again, and Kise gagged on his own spit.

"Aomine kun!"

Kuroko was by his side within seconds, helping him sit up.

"Kise, I'm sorry, but-"

"You should just shut up for now," Kagami's voice said quietly, and he did. Kise pushed himself back up, brushing Kuroko's hands away.

"Bathroom," Kise muttered before hurrying away, locking the door behind him. He couldn't stand it, being in the same room as the three of them. They had a whole life forming around themselves, and with this movie, he was only drifting further and further away from them. He told himself he didn't care, that he had his fans to rely on.. Who needed friends, anyways? But just hearing their voices made him hurt, more than the bruise that would form on the back of his head from that fall. Every second that passes with him locked up in the bathroom, the time those three spend together just increases... And Kise just can't join in.

After a long bath, Kise hesitates before emerging again.

"Kise kun, come here," Kuroko, who seemed to have been waiting by the door the whole time, grabs hold of his wrist and drags him to the kitchen table, where many dishes are set full of delicacies that he knew Kagami was the only one able to make.

"Let's eat together now, like we promised," he pushed Kise down onto a chair and sat down next to him, and Aomine sat across from him. Kise could only give him a few glances, just enough for him to figure out that Aomine was intent on staring him down as well.

"Here," Kagami set down a bowl of miso soup in front of him, "drink that first, and try a little bit of everything."

Kise thanked him and took the bowl, drinking it in small sips as the rest of them began with their meal. Aomine still seemed intent on staring him down, though, and Kise wished he would just leave and forget that he ever looked like a skeleton.

The soup tasted too salty for his tastes, but he knew Kagami's cooking was better than some of the restaurants he's been to. It was probably the lack of sodium in his system that made him feel that way, he thought, and continued to sip it. When he was done draining the bowl, he picked a bit at his rice, but that was his limit.

"I'm... not hungry. I'll excuse myself first."

"Oi, you f-"

Kagami put a hand on Aomine's shoulder and stopped him just as he slammed his chopsticks down in another fit of anger.

"That's fine. You can eat again later when you're hungry again, but you should take your medication now," Kagami pointed at the small box on the counter with his medication bags, and Aomine scowled again.

"I'll kill that fucker," He muttered again, and earned another kick under the table.

 

It only took an hour for the miso soup to spill back out from his mouth, medicine and all. Aomine muttered another string of insults like some Buddhist mantra, and Kuroko simply patted him on the back as Kagami went to cook some rice porridge instead.

"I can't believe directors are such sickos to make movies like this shit, ruining a person to their deathbed within months without a care," was basically what he said, in every variation and combination of words.

"Kurokocchi, make him stop, it's making me nauseous..."

Kise didn't keep his head out of the toilet long enough to see, but whatever Kuroko did was enough for Aomine to quietly leave him alone for the rest of the day. The rice porridge was much better to eat, and after several more hours of sleep, this time in his bed, he felt much more refreshed. He had slept a lot during his filming as well, but sleeping on his own bed definitely felt much different.

 

When he walked into the living room, Aomine glanced up at him from the sofa before changing the channel from sports to some movie channel.

"Tetsu and Kagami went out for a bit."

"Oh."

Kise sat on the far end of the sofa, keeping his attention onto the movie that was playing. It was another Avengers rerun, one that Kise had watched many times during his days of isolation when he tried to distract himself away from hunger or thoughts of Aomine.

"Sorry... You know, about the shoving-you-to-the-wall thing. I just..."

Aomine seemed to be fidgeting, but Kise kept his concentration on to the screen. If this morning had anything more to prove, it was that Kise still hadn't moved on from Aomine, and he knew he needed to. Friend status? Ha, something like that, Kise didn't need it.

"It's fine," he replied as blandly as he can, and silence resumed with Hulk's roar blasting out in low volume.

A few minutes passed before Aomine spoke again.

"Put this blanket on, you look like you're shivering." Kise was indeed shivering, but he didn't dare bring any more attention to himself while Aomine was there. If anything, he wanted Aomine to forget he existed for a few months or so, just until he can regain his former health and pretend to be the same as he used to be. He wished Aomine would leave his home and be too busy with school, or friends, or something. He wished that if Aomine didn't even want him as second place, then it would be better off if he just didn't approach him at all.

"Here, put it on," Aomine insisted, draping it over Kise's shoulders himself, and flinched when their hands brushed each other's.

"Fuck, Kise, why is your hand so cold?"

Kise couldn't pull his hand away as Aomine warmed it up in between his two palms, cringing.

"Your hands are so bony and ugly now, fuck."

Kise tugged on his hand again, but Aomine refused to let go.

"Just stay still, geez. You're such a handful."

"Let go of me, Aomine," Kise pulled at his hand again, but Aomine whirled around angrily and held on more tightly instead.

"Or what? What are you going to do? Do you even see the state you're in right now? Why the fuck do you keep avoiding everyone like you've got the plague?"

"Why do you care?" Kise muttered immaturely, unable to admit that the only one he wants to avoid is right in front of him.

"You think I won't? You appear after half a year looking like the walking dead, fainted in front of me, woke up with eyes so glassy I can't even tell if you're alive, and you think I won't care?"

"Aomine kun, are you yelling again?" Kuroko walked in with a bag of groceries, preparing to chuck an onion at Aomine's head.

"Tetsu, can you believe this asshole? He-" Aomine never got to finish his exasperated complaint as the onion hit his forehead with a crack.

Kise was glad Kuroko had come in at that moment because his answer to Aomine's question was painful to admit. Yes, he didn't think Aomine would care. Not in the way he wants him to.

 


	4. Chapter 4

Since when had 'talking things out' ever solved anything? Kise may not know much about history, but he knew that things rarely ever became resolved through talking. One-sided contracts, forced negotiations, threats, wars... If talking could solve things, world peace would have been achieved ten thousand years ago. But Kise sat down with the three of them anyways.

"Fine," was his answer as he seated himself at the kitchen table with his blanket, Aomine sitting across from him. At least this time, he wasn't intent on staring him down. There was no way talking would solve Aomine's anger, or his own frustration, or whatever else Kagami and Kuroko was feeling. It would only hurt them, and Kise knew it would hurt him most of all.

"Kise kun, we've been here almost a week, but you refuse to speak to any of us, and we're concerned," Kuroko finally spoke up, noting that the rest of them chose to keep their silence. Ha, how hilarious is this, the most silent one of them all is the only one talking. Kise kept his mouth shut.

"I know generally why you're acting like this, but it's a misunderstanding, Kise kun."

"Yeah, okay. I get it. Can I go rest now?"

Aomine answered by kicking the table, making everyone flinch. Kagami sighed.

"Kise kun, we worry about you."

"And I'm telling you, there's nothing to worry about, see? I'm gaining muscle again, and I'll be back in shape in no time," Kise held up his arms and attempted to flex, knowing  there really wasn't much left there to show. It reminded him of back in the days, when Kuroko used to insist on his "guns". Even to himself, this seemed to prove nothing, but he kept up a smile. Ugh, he didn't even want to think about how hideous his smile looked now, and that thought alone made him curve his lips down again.

"What, that flabby skin?" Aomine scoffed, and Kagami smacked him.

"You just shut that mouth of yours."

It was just like Aomine pointed out before, his hands were just too bony and dry and ugly. Ha, no wonder Aomine cringed at the sight of him every single time. He was a sickly guy, not even worth ranking anywhere in his chart.

"Kise kun, why won't you talk to us?"

"I.. I am," He defended, but it must have been obvious he's been keeping in his room, feigning sleep or fatigue or something. What good would talking bring up, anyways?

"...Do you not need us then?" Kuroko watched him, and Kise averted his eyes. Those blue eyes saw too much sometimes, and he knew Kuroko would know if he lied. So he didn't say anything. He didn't even really know what to say. Did he need them? He didn't know. He wanted them.

"Stop staring at your ugly hands, damn it!" Aomine burst into anger, kicking the table again, getting up to pull Kise out of his chair.

"Look at us! Look at Tetsu, have you seen him? He sleeps next to your door, you know?"

Aomine held onto Kise's face and turned it to face Kuroko, who in surprise at the sudden outburst, only stared back. Kise never knew until that moment, how those eyes that had always stared at him were slightly bloodshot, his clothes much too wrinkled.

"And Kagami! Do you look at him? He doesn't even study for shit but he's read through a thousand cookbooks for your fucking ass! Do you even know what you've been eating all this time? Oh, fucking rice porridge? Give me a break, you think simple porridge takes five fucking hours to cook?"

Kagami blushed and looked away.

"And you! You think you'll be fine on your own? Where's all the flowery shit you used to dump yourself in? What the fuck do you do in there all alone?"

Aomine squeezed his cheeks a little too hard, and not having any fat on his cheeks made it hurt more than it probably should...

"And what about me? Huh? Weren't we rivals for life? What about that one-on-one you always beg for? You think I can play with a pathetic looking bag of bones like you?"

Despite Aomine's hands holding Kise's face in place directly in front of his own, Kise refused to look him in the eyes, and he did not say anything. Yes, he was sorry that Kuroko worried so much. He was sorry that he hadn't noticed. He was sorry that he couldn't appreciate Kagami's cooking the way he used to... He missed Kagami's special onion gratin he used to make. But one-on-ones? Rivals? Kise couldn't stop himself from scoffing.

"Let go of me, Aomine," Kise pulled at Aomine's wrists until he finally let go.

"Shit," Kagami muttered as he headed for the fridge.

" 'Aomine'? What the f-"

"You," Kise interrupted, taking another step away from Aomine, "are the only one who can not say that to me."

Kagami returned with an ice pack, which he held up onto Kise's cheek, pushing Aomine away in the process.

"Why? Why can't I?" He roared from behind Kagami's head, and Kuroko stood up to hold him back.

"Aomine kun, not now-"

"No! Now, we talk about this NOW. You tell me, then, Kise. What's your problem with me?"

Just like that, every single time... Every single fucking time, Kise thought. Somehow, everyone turns it into his fault. Has everything really been his fault all this time, just because he just wasn't good enough? This was him trying his hardest, this was him at his best, so was that just not enough? Being compared to his perfect sisters, other team mates, classmates, schoolmates, workmates... Always being the more attainable alternative to someone who was obviously their first choice, being the stepping stone for their real goals, being back-up... Was there anyone who ever simply just wanted him, because he was just Kise Ryouta?

"Ha... Apparently, I'm the problem. I'm so very sorry I hadn't killed myself yet."

Kise went back to his room and locked it before anyone can follow him.


	5. Chapter 5

By the third time Kise woke up from his sleep again, the sun was up once more. His clock told him it was nearly noon, and his stomach told him he wasn't hungry. His bladder didn't tell him the bathroom was necessary, and his heart told him it was okay to sleep some more. He would have gone back to sleep if he really wanted to try sleeping through two days, but it didn't make him feel any better.

After changing, (none of his clothes felt like they fit anymore, so he ended up putting on a simple sweater that puffed out enough to cover up how much his ribs showed through his skin. Not that anyone cared though, right?

"Kise kun? I'm alone, so can you please let me in?"

He didn't want to, but he supposed that Kuroko must have sat beside his door all night long, just like Aomine had so graciously told him the day before. And it wasn't Kuroko he wanted to avoid.. He wanted to apologize, anyways. He opened the door, and Kuroko slipped in, closing the door behind him.

"Kise kun, will you eat a bit of this? It's just jelly, but Kagami kun made it last night."

His messy bed was a sore sight, but Kuroko sat down at the edge of it with the wrapped cup without hesitation, pulling Kise down together.

"Come on, eat it."

Kise didn't feel like it, but he took a spoonful in.

 

Kuroko didn't say a word until Kise had finished the cup.

"I'm dating Kagami kun," he said with the blandest expression he could have ever had to accompany that confession. Any other day, it might have been cute, or funny, and he might have squealed in excitement and happiness for him.

"Oh," was the only thing he could say, the first thing he said all day.

"It's been seven months."

"Then..."

"Yes, I meant to let you know that day, when we were supposed to have our meal together."

"Ah... haha," Even to Kise's ears, that laughter was nothing more than hollow sounds, "I'm sorry I missed out.."

How heartbroken Aomine must have been, he thought. If he had been there, maybe Aomine would have come to him to be consoled, or something. Second choice to his 'Tetsu', probably. It was better that he wasn't there to become that as well, he thought.

"Aomine kun was lonely that day," Kuroko continued. Of course he would have been, seeing his 'Tetsu' be taken up in the arms of another man, the very man he always had competed with.

"Kise kun, won't you look at me anymore?"

Kise wanted to, but looking at Kuroko only reminded him of how sickly he was... Physically sickly, emotionally sickly, dying but not able to die.

"I...'m sorry..." Kise fidgeted, pulling at the tips of his fingers as though it'll pump back in the fat he's lost for seven months. He was sorry for everything to Kuroko. He was sorry that he was living, that he was dying, that he'd taken up this role in the movie because Miura Haruma had turned it down. He was sorry that Kuroko couldn't spend time with his lover because of him... It was all his fault.

"Why? You just have to lift your head, Kise kun. Why are you sorry? I'm right here, aren't I?"

And then what? What would happen if he looked at Kuroko? Didn't he know? He was going to see a man who wasn't him, who was better than him. If Kise looked up into his eyes, would he suck in all that luck and become as good as him? Would he be able to stand in the place this man stands? No. Of course not. Never. So why... Why did it matter that Kuroko was there? It wasn't like he was the one Kuroko loved.

"Kise kun," Kuroko bent over until his face was where Kise's lowered eyes would see him, "Am I not your friend?"

"Heh... I don't even know what that means anymore."

Drops of water fell onto Kuroko's face, and Kise backed away, reaching for a tissue on the bedside table beside them. Before he finished wiping his eyes, small arms encircled his much-too-bony waist, squeezing the puffy sweater out of its intended use.

"It means I'll hug you when you cry, Kise kun."

 

"I got these from the locals, but I never got a chance to unpack them before," Kise mumbled, pulling out another box from the pile of things his agent had left piled up in the corner of his room. Kuroko pushed aside the bags of sponsored clothes they'd been looking at to make space for the box. It was a handcrafted tea set, a very pale gray with just a slight tint of red near the rim, and it seemed like Kuroko really liked it. It was more his type of thing than Kise's, anyhow.

"You can have it, Kurokocchi," Kise mumbled again, and Kuroko gave him a look that might have been his version of a thankful smile, for all he can tell.

"I will take very good care of it, Kise kun."

They sat there until late afternoon, sorting it all out. All the fanart went into Kuroko's hands, who roamed about his room trying to fit them in among all the other fanart and fan gifts he already had displayed.

"How can you sleep with all of your own faces staring at you," Kuroko even scowled when he had to find space for the seventh portrait.

Kise managed to laugh a little bit at that, even though it wasn't really all that funny.

"You know, Kise kun, I've said it before, but you're misunderstanding," Kuroko said, getting up from the floor with the bag of ripped gift wrappings and tissue paper in his hand.

"Aomine kun, he-"

"Kuroko? Kise? I made dinner if you want to eat right now," Kagami called from behind the door. Kuroko looked at Kise, as though to ask him if he was willing to join or not.

"...I do want something warm," Kise gave in, letting Kuroko lead him back out.

 

Dinner was eaten in semi-silence, Kuroko and Kagami maintaining their low-volumed conversation on whether a dog or a cat is a much better pet, because Kagami doesn't want to move in with Kuroko if he continues to keep Nigou. Kise can tell Kagami's lost the argument already, his face already blushing at the thought of 'living together'. He probably just wanted to argue for the sake of arguing. Aomine kept his eyes down on his bowl, keeping his expressions hidden from anyone who dared to look.

Kise had wondered if he should apologize, but for what? For not being good enough? For working hard for a movie he chose to do? For becoming a sore sight for his oh-so-high-and-mighty presence? He kept his focus on his soup. If Aomine had a problem, Kise guessed that he'd throw another tantrum about it, maybe.

Kuroko gave him an obviously surprised stare when Kise reached out for one of the meat dishes on the table.

"You don't have to force yourself," he said.

"Hehe... Kagami's fruit jelly must have been magic, or something... I don't feel nauseous today."

 


	6. Chapter 6

"Make sure you eat the fruit jelly if you don't want to heat anything up, okay?" Kagami repeated for the fifteenth time at the doorway.

"And Aomine kun, please keep your mouth shut," Kuroko added from behind Kagami.

"And the jelly!" Kagami made one last addition to his repetition as Kuroko kicked the door shut before he can say any more.

"Aomine, you feed him or i'll..." Kagami's voice faded away, and Kise stood by the door, almost expecting Kagami to pop back in to continue.

"...I think he's done now," Aomine concluded after another minute.

After Kise insisted, Kuroko agreed to take Kagami away from the kitchen for a while for a date, technically. But Kagami refused to let go of his ladle (well, it was Kise's, actually, but Kagami definitely used it more in that week than Kise had the whole time he'd owned it). It took another day and Kise's false craving for some Monja-yaki to persuade Kagami to go out. And, just in case it happens (and Kise guessed that it would), he gave Kuroko some money to pay for the grill that Kagami might attempt to buy to make the Monja-yaki at home. Even Kuroko had seemed resigned to spending his date in a kitchen appliances shop.

"Kise, come here," Aomine called when he saw that Kise had not followed him back. After their "argument" , they had not said much to each other, though Kise didn't think that Aomine was angry at him.

"Um... Ao-"

"Just come here. We have to talk, don't we? Sit down," Aomine pointed to the sofa. Kise obliged, pulling up his sleeves uncomfortably. Aomine made sure Kise didn't sit far from him this time, sitting down only after Kise did.

"Tetsu said I should write down what I want to say so that I don't spew profanity again, so..." Aomine pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket and cleared his throat a few times, glancing to see if Kise was actually listening or not, and continued.

" 'I am worried about your health' " Aomine read aloud monotonously, " 'because you looked so sickly that day when you fainted on your sofa. I was angry that you had to go this far for work, that some flimsy girl calling herself a nutritionist said Kagami in an apron was sexy-' "

Kise couldn't help but laugh a little at what Kuroko's reaction might have been to that. If it had been a man, Kuroko would have definitely punched him. Aomine relaxed his shoulders a little, and went on.

" 'and that you seemed to want to be left alone.' "

Kise did want to be left alone that time. But mostly, his definition of 'alone' meant 'away from Aomine'.

" 'I was frustrated that you weren't being properly cared for, and that you se..eamed? Err...' Fuck this shit," Aomine crumpled the paper and tossed it when he couldn't read his own handwriting, and Kise had to laugh again.

"My point is," he said, scratching the back of his neck, "You're important to me. To all of us. So-"

But not the most important, Kise's mind retorted. Never the most important.

"So rely on your friends a bit more, why don't you?"

Aomine seemed pretty satisfied with his half-speech, and Kise had to admit that it was pretty well thought out, coming from a basketball idiot's brain. But he didn't get it, did he?

"So?" Aomine asked.

"So... what?" Kise responded, confused.

"So... Aren't you going to tell me why you're pissed off at me now?"

"Oh."

"Oh?"

Aomine, resting his elbows on his knees, leaned a little closer, waiting for an answer. What did he expect Kise to say? Kise didn't know what he should say, what was speakable, what was not speakable. All he could think of was how much he knew Aomine likes Kuroko... What was he to say in that situation to act like that didn't bother him?

"Uh... How about you give me time to write a speech too?" Kise suggested, and scowled.

"It can't be that bad. Just tell me."

"I'd rather not."

"Why?"

"Because it's you."

Because Kise didn't want to hear his fears be spoken with Aomine's voice.

"Fucking christ, Kise. I won't get mad. I'll fix my mistakes so just-"

"You can't fix it, Aominecchi. That's why I won't tell you."

"What... Are you seriously still pissed about not playing one-on-one seven months ago?"

Kise sighed and turned away.

"No," he said as he scratched his scalp in frustration.

"Then what? Tell me. What did I do wrong?"

"It's not what you did, Aominecchi. It's just... Can we just drop this topic?"

"No. Kise, you look at me and tell me what to fix."

"Nothing. It's not even a problem, it's just me. I'm the probl-"

"Are you going with that crap again? You're not a problem!"

Aomine didn't touch him, but the way he hit the sofa made Kise worried about the bruise he might have had if Aomine had used that amount of anger to touch him again.

"Look at me, Kise. You're not a problem, not to me. You're important to m-"

"But not as much as your 'Tetsu'," Kise retorted before he could stop himself. Aomine rolled his eyes.

"Why would you want to be as important as Tetsu?"

Why not, Kise wanted to ask. 'Why can't I be as important as him in your heart?' Kise just snorted out a dry laughter and made another futile attempt to get up from the sofa.

"What's Tetsu go to do with this? Did he say something?" Aomine held onto his wrist with the hand that wasn't caving him onto the sofa seat and persisted.

"Tell me, Kise. Can't you be honest with me for once?"

"Honest? How about you be honest yourself? Quit dragging me into your bitter unrequited love just because you 'Tetsu' has been taken away! Did you need me to catch you when you fall? Was I to be your rebound lover until you got over 'Tetsu'? Or you needed another replacement when Kagami was too busy?"

Shit, Kise bit his lips and covered his face with his hands. He hadn't meant to say any of it. He hadn't meant to turn any of those feelings into words, but there they were, spilling out of his lips like the miso soup vomit.

"Gosh, Kagami kun, do you seriously expect me to believ- Kise kun?"

Kise felt Aomine's weight lift away from the sofa as the front door opened again.

"Aomine! You get away from him or-"

"No! I'm not done! Fuck, let go of me, bastard!"

"Kise kun?"

Kuroko's small hands stroked his head as he held his breath in an attempt not to sob, until even Kuroko was shoved away.

"You. Kise. Look at me right now."

"No," Kise replied in a strained muffled voice.

"Aomine kun-"

"Shut it, Tetsu! It's now!"

"But-"

"No! This bastard isn't going to wait for a fucking cake! Kise! Look at me!"

Aomine pried Kise's hands away from his face, but he didn't open his eyes. He wished he could shut his ears just as easily, but he wasn't Dumbo, and his hands were being occupied.

"Aomine kun, I think you're being too-"

"I said shut up! Just leave for a minute."

"This is a load of bull," Kagami muttered as he stomped back away. Kise assumed Kuroko must have followed him out, and kept his eyes shut. 

"Kise. Open your eyes."

"No."

"Then stop crying."

"I'm not crying."

Kise tried to pull his wrists away again, but he didn't budge.

"It hurts," He complained, trying to get him to let go, but he didn't.

"Kise," Aomine called again, softening his voice, "Open your eyes. I can't say it if you don't look at me."

"I don't want to hear it."

"Kise."

"No."

"Kise! Fuck, why won't you let me confess to you!"

His eyes flew open before he could stop himself. What kind of a new joke was this? Did he think it was funny? Was this how he was covering up his embarrassment for being told his feelings were found out? Aomine stared back with half a smile, as though he was resisting the urge to laugh.

"Ha... Aominecchi, your joke is funny," he laughed. Did Aomine think he'd be fooled? Ha, no way. If he really liked him, he wouldn't have ignored him the way he did.

"You f- damn it," Aomine sat back down on the sofa, loosening his grip without letting go.

"Why would you think I am joking? Don't you like me too?"

"Ha... How can you be so confident..." Kise pulled his hands away, now that he can regain ownership of his hands, and rubbed the pain away from his wrists uneasily. Whatever this situation was, it wasn't real. Kise couldn't believe it.

"Why not? I like you, and that's all the confidence I need, isn't it?"

This definitely wasn't real. Aomine smiling at him without a smirk? No, it couldn't happen.

"Are you done yet?" Kagami called from the doorway, obviously in a bad mood. Aomine looked up from Kise's face with a grin.

"Tetsu, I can't tell if he believes me. He's kinda..." Aomine waved his hand around, "not responding."

"Kise kun, didn't I tell you? You're misunderstanding. It's true."

Kuroko came into view, and upon looking at that face encouraging his belief, Kise found that he can suddenly believe it was true. His last wall of defense came tumbling down with a flood of tears, and Kise wept onto Kuroko's shirt.

"Kurokocchi!!! It's real!!!"

"Oi! I just confessed to you, didn't I? What's up with hugging another man in front of me?"

 


	7. Chapter 7

"We meant to confess together," Kuroko explained after Kise had calmed down enough. Aomine was dragged away by Kagami to go shopping for that grill they never bought.

"But you refused to come that day, so I ended up confessing to Kagami kun alone. He was redder than the roses I got him."

Kise blew his nose again, exhausted from using what little energy he had for crying.

"Aomine kun worked so hard for that ring, and yet he had to carry it around for seven months waiting for you," Kuroko continued, attempting to dry his shirt with the tissue.

"Ring?"

"Yeah, the one that- Oh."

Kise felt his face heating up again. Was this really happening? Aomine Daiki, confessing to him, smiling at him, even getting a ring for him? This was definitely not real, he thought. It couldn't be, it had to be a dream.

But... A ring? Really?

 

"So... you got me a ring?" Kise cautiously asked that evening as Kagami and Kuroko went to wash the dishes together. Perhaps Kise really had been craving Monja-yaki, or maybe it was Kagami's unnaturally passionate flair to cooking it that evening, but it was delicious. Kise ate more than he probably had in the last week... At least, it felt like it. No one behaved any differently than before, but Kise felt a whole lot more giddy. It scared him.

 "Ah... yeah," Aomine answered, glancing up at him from the basketball game on the sports channel, "But you're not getting it any time soon."

Just in case he decides this wasn't working out? Of course, that's why everyone always keeps back ups for when the first one fails. He may be the first now, but who know how long he'd be standing there? It's just like it always has been, like grades. He couldn't be first all the time.

"I see," Kise simply replied.

"It won't fit that bony finger of yours anymore," Aomine prodded Kise's hand with a grimace. "I should feed you three more meals or something," he muttered, pulling on the skin on the back of his hand.

"I'm trying," Kise mumbled, hiding his hand behind his sleeves.

"Heh..." Aomine retracted his arm with a chuckle.

"Wh-what..."

"Your face actually has color today. I was just relieved that you can actually blush again," Aomine spoke almost like he was talking to himself, mumbling into his hand covering his smile.

 

Aomine hovered over him as he washed his face, properly this time with cleansing foam. It wasn't like it was any amazing sight to see, but to be watched like that made him nervous.

"Does your skin get whiter if you use that soap?"

"What???" Kise sputtered, splashing water a little too much.

"Well," Aomine continued with an expression Kise couldn't understand, "You're kind of glowing right now."

"Oh my gosh, are you hitting on me in the bathroom?"

Grabbing his towel, Kise rushed out of the bathroom quickly, almost convinced that Aomine was treating him like a joke now. Or else that over-tanned basketball geek wouldn't use such corny lines on him at that moment... Even if it made Kise feel bubbly at the thought of someone using old movie cliches on him.

"Am I not allowed to?"

"That was disgusting, Aomine kun," Kuroko stated from his seat on the sofa.

"Shut up, Tetsu, you had seven months to get it all out, bastard."

Oh God, Kise internally screamed. Is this guy serious? Had he really been waiting? For him, and him only? He hurried into his room and locked the door before Aomine could follow in after him.

"Oi, Kise, why'd you lock the door? What, are you scared for your ass? Don't worry, I may be crude, but I won't force a sick person, you know? Open the door, Kise. Kise? Are you alive?"

"Shut up!" Kagami called out from the distance, and Aomine retorted back with an annoyed scoff.

"You shut up, asshole! You ain't the one who had to wait seven months!"

My God, Kise buried his face into his pillow and flailed. Aomine Daiki had actually waited for him. For seven months, Aomine Daiki had waited for Kise Ryouta. Kise was the one Aomine was waiting for. Oh God, every variation of that truth made Kise giggle uncontrollably.

"Kise! Come here and open this door, damn it!"

 


	8. Chapter 8

Kise only emerged from his room the next morning, when he had no choice. At least the trio wasn't there. Kise was somewhat relieved that they finally left the previous night. He didn't know how he could face them with things happening so rapidly that he still can't make out which of it is his fantasy and which is his reality.

"Kise kun, your gym trainer said that you can probably resume training sometime next week. He'll make out an appropriate regime for you to regain energy slowly, so until then, please focus on just regaining some fat for now."

His agent Kouhei stared down at his phone, mumbling some more about other schedules that were moved around (in the end, he had his way and pushed the Zunan photoshoot to the end of October).

"Oh! And Director Masayuki wants to meet you when you've recovered. He was disappointed that you couldn't stay for the end-of-filming party they had. And the Horikita Mai special edition photobook that you asked for was delivered," he handed Kise a bag, "And also some new skin products for your skin. Those are said to be super organic, so it'll be much more soothing to your skin than the one we used before."

"Thanks, Kou-cchi, even though I said you should take a break as well... Do you want some fruit jelly? My friend made a whole bunch, and they're really good," Kise pulled out two cups from the fridge and handed him one. (Kagami had thrown another fit in front of his door the previous night about making sure he eats at least the jelly if he doesn't want to heat up any one of the five pots of food he'd stocked up in the fridge for the next four days while they went on their university basketball training camp.)

"It wasn't any one of those scary guys from before, is it?" Kouhei shuddered at the memory, and Kise chuckled.

"It was, actually. The red head."

"The apron??? Well, he was nicer than the other one, I guess... The pale guy was the scariest though, Kise kun. I didn't even know he was in front of me until he smacked me..."

"Hahaha Kurokocchi? He hit you? No way..."

"He did!" Kouhei exclaimed, swallowing down the contents in his mouth. "He didn't even say anything, but he looked like he was ready to strangle me... The tanned guy also threw a fit about why you fainted..."

Kise felt his cheeks burn all of a sudden, and stared down at his cup quickly.

"Oh, and uh... Can you ask the pale guy to return my copy of your house key? He kind of.. Er, I wouldn't say he stole it, but.."

Whatever Kuroko had done to get that key made Kouhei shudder again, and Kise just laughed.

 

After three days of incessant text messages from Kagami reminding him to eat, of eating through three of Kagami's five pots of stew, of trying to text Aomine the way he usually did (he couldn't even remember what he 'usually' did), the trio barged into his home again. Kagami already had arms full of groceries (as though two more pots of his refrigerated stew wasn't enough), Kuroko dragging both their gym bags on the ground behind him, ready to faint, and Aomine with a huge bouquet of red roses.

"Here," he shoved it into Kise's arms before he could react, and picked up Kuroko off of the ground to toss him onto the sofa.

"Can you imagine how he must have looked in the train on our way back?" Kagami snorted at the memory as he unpacked his new cooking project.

"Yeah well... The last one I had for you went to waste, so..." Aomine avoided looking at him as he went back to the doorway to pick up the abandoned gym bags.

"You're so..." Kise buried his face into his arms behind the bouquet, knowing he was turning as red as the bouquet, just like Kuroko had said Kagami did back when he was confessed to. It made his knees feel wobbly.

"What? You don't like roses? I knew I should have gotten sunflowers instead."

"No, I do, I... Thank you, Aominecchi... It's the first time I've gotten flowers," Kise mumbled, wishing Aomine can disappear for just ten minutes so that he can scream and flail and cry and laugh. He wasn't sure how else to get out all this excitement bubbling inside him that made his knees shake so much.

"Liar, I've seen your fangirls hand you more bouquets in a day than I've gotten in a lifetime."

"You only got four," Kuroko called out from the sofa, apparently not yet unconscious, and received a scowl in reply.

"Those were all for Kise Ryouta the model. This is the first one I got for..." For myself, he wanted to say, but found that he couldn't. It made him want to cry to say it in that way. How long had it been since he'd been himself, not the model, or the actor, or the role? He couldn't even remember the days when he really WAS himself, just Kise Ryouta, a teenager on his way to being a man, a guy who is just ordinary, a guy who is still accepted for being ordinary.

"Then isn't that good enough? You don't need anyone else."

"Possessive," Kuroko muttered, and Kagami dropped something and cursed.

"Fuck, Aomine, quit with the fucking lines!"

"Shut up! I spent seven months thinking about them! And I'm gonna use them all or die trying!"

Kise was sure Aomine must have read through shoujo mangas or something, or else he couldn't possibly say this with a straight face. And Kise sure as heck couldn't dare lift his head up again to see what expression he had, or else he'd cry again. Because Aomine was right. Kise didn't need anyone else, just one person who saw him as himself... And to have that one person be the person he loved, how many stars had he wished on, for this miracle to happen? How long was this miracle going to last? Was he really allowed to feel this happy?

"Shit, are you crying? Again?"

Aomine patted his head awkwardly, and from somewhere in the kitchen, Kagami groaned.

"Fuck, someone blind me because I just saw Aomine blushing."

 

Kise handed over the special edition Horikita Mai photobook to Aomine after dinner, and watched as he tore it open. (Aomine was banned from washing dishes after Kuroko saw him break three plates at Kagami's home a while back, which all happened because Aomine was convinced he was a genius who can juggle plates.)

"Are her boobs this juggly in real life?" Aomine asked, like he always doees every time his Mai-chan entered his realm of conscious thought.

"I told you, I've never worked with her yet."

Kise peeled open a tangerine, but had it snatched away before it reached his mouth.

"Don't you have anything more fattening to eat?"

Aomine stuffed it in his mouth whole, tossing the book closed onto the coffee table in front of them.

"That was mine," Kise mumbled, picking up another one, but it made him think that in some indirect way, he had fed Aomine the fruit, similar to one of the scenes he had shot for the movie just months ago, when he was sitting in a hospital bed, and the female lead cut and fed him an apple slice.

"Eat something else," Aomine insisted, snatching away the fruit and pushing the bowl of tangerines away.

"Like ice cream. You like ice cream, don't you?"

"Oi, he's not- And you just had dinner, you pig headed lump of-"

But Aomine was already up, digging out an ice cream container and some spoons, ignoring Kagami's complaints.

"Kagami kun, you're dripping soap on my hair," was all Kuroko had to say about it.

Even Kise didn't think he could eat ice cream just yet, but he had eaten Monja-yaki a while ago, and was okay with it (even though technically it had been made much more bland and much less greasy than what he'd eaten in stores due to Kagami's special recipe). He supposed that it wouldn't hurt to eat just a tiny bit of frozen sweet cream.

"Just a little bit, then," Kise gave in, taking the spoon.

 

After the third trip to the bathroom, Kise gave up on sitting properly, flopping down weakly onto the nearest sofa edge to the bathroom, leaning on its arm. He couldn't put enough strength onto his stomach, and ended up having to just sit there and wait for it to just sort of flow out of him. It was torture, feeling the queasy bubbles poking his intestines, and not being able to excrete enough for relief.

"You okay yet?" Aomine rubbed the inward dip on his lower back, and the heat radiating from his hand seemed to calm his tense, cold nerves, if not the rest of his stomach.

"Mm, a little," he mumbled, closing his eyes. It was definitely that green tea ice cream. Either the ice cream was in the fridge too long, or his stomach wasn't ready.. He couldn't really tell.

"I don't want to say this, but I tol-"

"Shut up, Kagami," Aomine retorted angrily, most likely angry at himself the most. He continued to soothe the tense muscles on his back, making Kise want to curl his spine into the curve of that warmth. If only he wasn't feeling so tired.

"Well, it's time for Kagami kun and I to go home now," Kuroko pulled Kagami up and towards the door.

"But he's still-"

"Kagami kun, are you dating me or Kise kun?"

Kise might have laughed if he wasn't feeling so drained, but he managed to open his eyes enough to see Kagami's silent sputter of red-faced objection.

"Yeah, hurry up and go," Aomine said, shooing them off with his other free hand.

"Just... If he can, the jellies-"

"I'm gonna shove them up your ass if I hear you talk about fruit jellies one more time," Aomine chucked a cushion towards him as best as he can with the position he was in, and Kuroko wordlessly closed the door behind them, ending Kagami's incoherent grumbling.

Even after Aomine brought out Kise's blanket from his room for him, Kise didn't feel his nerves losing tension. The blanket felt too damp and cold, with this rainy August weather making everything much worse than they should be. The coldness of the blanket seemed to seep in all the way into his bones, into the very parts of his stomach where pain was waiting to shoot up again. It made him feel queasy again.

"Still hurting?" Aomine pulled Kise back up to wrapped the blanket more closely around him, but paused when he felt Kise shudder. The sitting position made him more queasy, and Kise grimaced at the sudden jolt of pain.

"Here, lie back down," Aomine tugged until Kise had his head on Aomine's lap. If it hadn't been for the lingering pain, Kise might have felt his heart burst into flowers and rainbows in that single moment, but his stomach gave him no opportunity to do more than think about how warm it was. Aomine leaned forward (Kise's heart skipped several beats despite the stomach pain) and pulled Kise's legs up onto the sofa, tucking them under the blanket, and then resumed rubbing warmth back into his backside.

"Shit, I can feel all your bones," he muttered, but he kept his hand there, letting his body heat seep into Kise's colder one. And, as the pain and the cold subsided with every minute that passed, Kise fell slowly asleep with a lingering thought about how many times he had rested his head on the laps of various girls in his career, and how none of them compared to the warmth and comfort he soaked himself in on that sofa without a single flirtatious gesture or enticing words. It was so much more than whatever Kise had ever imagined a moment like this could be... So warm, so fitting, so in place, right down to the dusty smell of Aomine's sweatpants and the large hand that stayed in place at the top of his head, shading his eyes from the light of the lamp stand in the corner. If he had the energy, Kise would have smiled.


	9. Chapter 9

Kise only woke up because Aomine's hand slipped and dropped his head a little too suddenly as he tried to remove his lap from under it and replace it with a pillow. The suddenly impact fused with the coldness of the pillow fabric on his cheeks surprised him enough to make him open his eyes momentarily, but the pouring sunlight blinded him almost as quickly.

"Oops," Aomine muttered to himself, thinking Kise had not yet woken up, probably thinking that the slight cringe on his nose was due to some unconscious reaction. He pulled the blanket a little higher to cover Kise up to just below his ears, patting his head a little apologetically before withdrawing. Thinking he had gone off to do whatever he would do a few minutes later, Kise peeked through his lashes, only to find that Aomine was sitting on the floor, staring at him.

"Oh, you're awake? How's your stomach?"

Kise groaned and covered his face. He wasn't used to being looked at when his guard was down, especially by Aomine. Kise never dropped his guard when it came to Aomine, and he couldn't even imagine what kind of a face he must have had when he was sleeping... And his stubble! Ugh, Aomine must have seen that too...

"Why? What's wrong?" Aomine's voice sounded closer.

"I'm fine," Kise croaked out, trying to figure out how he can get to the bathroom while Aomine is busy with something else... When is Aomine EVER busy?

"Are you sure? Does your head-"

"I'm fine, Aominecchi! Just... Just..."

Kise groaned again, unable to say it. Would he sound too petty, if he were to say that he didn't want Aomine to look at him all ragged and messy?

"Silly," Aomine ruffled up his head a bit before getting up, heading to the kitchen.

"I'm gonna heat up some of Kagami's leftovers so you go get washed up," he called out, and Kise took that opportunity, hiding his face as best he can as he ran to the bathroom.

"Stupid, idiot, shit, fuck, fuck, fuck," Kise muttered, unable to even stare at himself anymore. Aomine knew. He definitely knew.

 

When Kise emerged from the bathroom feeling much more refreshed, Aomine was standing by the door with a sly grin.

"Ooh, pretty boy emerges," he whistled, and Kise's cheeks flushed red again.

"Stop that!" Kise wanted to crawl into a hole. Aomine was definitely not going to let this chance go... Ugh, how many more months would he have to hear this moment be mentioned?

 

Kagami and Kuroko only stopped by later in the afternoon, mostly because there were two idiots itching to get some pent up basketball energy out of their system.

"Kise kun and I can stay here," Kuroko insisted, but Aomine refused to go if it wasn't the whole gang. Truthfully, Kise didn't really want to see a basketball at all, having refused to touch one ever since he had quit basketball after his injury worsened and quit playing after high school. He'd only tolerated because back then, before this recent incident, it was the only excuse he had for meeting Aomine on a regular basis, watching him be the glorious midnight panther on the court as always.

"No! Kise comes or we don't play," Aomine insisted again when no one responded, and Kise sighed. No one would recognize him with the bony cheeks he currently adorned, he supposed.

"I'll be fine, Kurokocchi, I'll go."

It would be good to leave the house once in a while too, he thought to himself. This little walk might be a good way to get some exercise done, he tried to convince himself. Kise was surprised at how breathless he felt after walking that route that he had sprinted through with ease just half a year ago.

 

"Shit Tetsu, I was supposed to be the first for that pose," Kise thought he heard Aomine's voice somewhere.

"I apologize for ruining your plans to shoot a romance movie with Kise kun, but I did not have a choice. It was this or the lap."

Kise's neck hurt, and it was cold. He shivered a little, opening his eyes as his mind drifted back to catch up with what he was looking at.

"Oi, Kise, you okay? Hey, Tetsu, isn't his forehead a little warm?"

Kise only saw Aomine's slightly crooked smile before he closed his eyes again. And then the next time he opened them, he was looking at a thin cotton fabric that rubbed onto his cheek, radiating warm heat and the scent of sun-kissed skin with a little bit of sweat.

Aomine shifted his arms a little, and Kise lifted his head up from Aomine's back a little, recognizing the route he was being carried through, even though it was considerable darker than the last time he walked through it.

"You're awake now? You fucking scared me, sleeping like the dead," Aomine muttered, increasing his pace a little bit.

"I'm.. I'm okay now, let me down," Kise tapped Aomine's shoulder and tried to pull away, but his position didn't budge any more.

"And risk you fainting again? No way. I bet you didn't even watch Kagami and me playing. Now lie back down, my back's cold."

Aomine shifted Kise's weight again, forcing him to lean towards him again, and Kise carefully placed his hands somewhere on the edges of Aomine's wide shoulder blades, feeling no confidence to wrap his arms around his neck like he had when he was unconscious. Even so, even like this, it was fine. It was way more than what Kise can ask for. It was so much more than what someone so unworthy as Kise Ryouta can ever dare to selfishly desire for.


End file.
